Monday morning found me dead asleep snoring in my bed. The alarm went off for a full half an hour before i even heard it and then I still slept fifteen minutes more without it going off. Finally, I dragged myself from bed and went about feeling more alive. I called Courtney since I'm her alarm clock and then sat down to get some work done. I had read everything that was required for Speck's class last week but I still didn't have the "suggested" reading done. The "suggested" reading is really more mandatory than anything else since he expects it to be read and asks questions about it. So I skimmed the two articles, trying to understand as much as possible before heading off to class. It was once more sweltering in Oxford and I was once more happy (hello, I was in Paris hours previously) so I put on my nicest shirt and went out.
As the day progressed, I found my giddiness slowly ebbing away. By four, I hadn't seen anyone but Lauren and my classmates all day and was actually, physically missing Mike and Courtney. As if the UMass Summer Seminar was out to thwart me in my desire to see my friends, I was assigned the balcony dinner Monday night and dinner at the high table Tuesday night. I was not looking forward to either event.
Upon returning from Paris, Lauren had beneficently bequeathed two items of food to one. One, a roll of chocolate biscuits she didn't particularly like and, two, a quart of apple juice that she found too sweet. Since we had had a running Eddie Izzard joke about chocolate biscuits the whole trip, I armed myself with them (quite tasty, in my opinion) and headed up to Mike's room to see how his paper was coming and offer sustenance. Unfortunately, Mike wasn't there. A confused Sam (his roommate) was, but no Mike. Feeling mildly crushed, but not overly horrible yet, I went back to my room.
I called Courtney before heading over to join the balcony dinner people for drinks in the beer cellar and found that Mike was in her room. Before I could even tell her why I was calling, she informed me that she had reading to do that night and therefore couldn't do anything. I wasn't calling about that. I was just calling to say that I wouldn't be at dinner in case anyone was looking for me. I got the feeling they wouldn't have been. After such an unsatisfying and a little worrying phone call, I made myself go to the beer cellar.
The balcony dinner is a dinner provided by the program with your tutor and classmates. You get two (one for each class) and you get to sit in the balcony. At least traditionally you do. They have, since naming the dinner, moved it to a room behind the main hall that is the oldest room at Trinity, predating even the college itself. It's quite ritzy, surprisingly since it was used by monks before the college took it over. But we all filed in and I found myself at the end of the table, across from Yuan. The table was pretty large so it was almost impossible to talk to Yuan on the other end of the table. The tutors were seated in the middle, so all conversation spun around their words. I was isolated and unable to contribute. It was a very lonely dinner, emphasized by my continuing lack of Mike and Courtney and the knowledge that they were probably having a grand old time at dinner a mere room away.
Finally we were released from dinner and, after chatting briefly with another classmate (Jessy), I went back to my room. I spent the rest of the evening attempting to get my law readings done for the next day but really just wallowing in loneliness. Lauren and I actually bonded a little and had a good, procrastinating conversation before I just gave up on seeing Mike or Courtney that day and went to bed at eleven. By the time I hit the sack, my stomach had worked itself into a state of supreme agitation and was telling me I was really too stressed out. I was really pretty annoyed with myself for getting so worked up and letting my glee slip away. Stupid boys.
I fell asleep immediately and woke up ten hours later and took a shower. I had a great presentation in Law on Monday. I think I got "full ticks" as Jillaine says. It was good. I have another one today, but not a formal one. I think it'll be fine even though I haven't finished all the reading yet since I'm not in my happy place. I really needed the weekend, I guess, and now it's been eaten up by Paris. Seriously, there are so worse things that could have eaten it up! Now Paris is kind of bittersweet in my mind. I think of it constantly and it makes me smile a little sadly. Where are my friends? I honestly don't know how I'm going to function once back in the US; I won't see these people very often at all and I'm very close to liking them better than my remnant Smith friends.
So, some doldrums, but nothing too depressing. At least my relationship with Lauren is now prospering. I think she might have actually heard something I said last night. Maybe she's grasping the "listening is fun" concept.
More to say, as always, but I have law reading to do, as always. Love you both,
Corey
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